DNF is just a learning experience
My first ever ‘Did Not Finish’ was a little unexpected. Unexpected in that it had never even crossed my mind in the lead up to the Ben Nevis Ultra on September 16th 2017 that I would pull out at the 80k mark, still with 40ks to go. All that training reduced to this, sitting, slumped in a plastic chair at the Nevis Range checkpoint stuffing my face with cake and washing it down with flat coke.
“When it finally came around stopping was the only thing on my mind and all I felt at that point was a wave of relief that I’d stopped”
It wasn’t really a shock when I finally made up my mind that I would pull out. I’d had around 30ks to wrestle with the idea and reconcile myself to the fact that I would pull out at the 80k checkpoint. It had started with a little niggle, deep down in my calf. And at that point pulling out, actually stopping my race, was the furthest thing from my mind. Then when it finally came around stopping was the only thing on my mind and all I felt at that point was a wave of relief that I’d stopped.
The first point that I really registered the niggle in my calf was around the 50k mark. It was one of those 'Ooh, that doesn't feel quite right' moments, more of a knot of tightness than the sharp pain of a tear. It was the kind of calf tightness that you just shrug off and keep running on in the hope that it sorts itself out - which invariably it does, right? Over the next 30ks it got worse to the point of a pronounced hobble. This was making me over compensate which was causing my body to complain in other areas like the hips and knees. Not great. The thought of hobbling on, up the CMD ridge, over the Ben’s summit and on, still with another 20ks from Glen Nevis to the finish at Kinlochleven seemed like a stupid idea, especially with darkness fast approaching.
A calf injury was just one of those things, something beyond my control. Best to pull out and not make it any worse. Easy to get my head around. What wasn’t so straightforward to get my head around were the contributing factors that no doubt got me to this point.
The first significant factor that got me to this point was that I’d gone out too fast right from the start of the race. Such a stupid mistake. I should have known better. This was something well within my control and I had simply ignored my own game plan. A 120k race across some of the roughest, steepest terrain Scotland had to throw at us and I’d gone out too fast.
I’d got mixed up with a group of runners at the front of the pack and tried to stay with them. They were only running about 30 to 40 seconds quicker than my race pace but over 50ks that is more than enough to accelerate the fatigue.
This then had a direct link to the second major failing I could have controlled. I totally buggered up my nutrition and hydration. I wasn’t really eating or drinking a huge amount while running, no doubt because I was going too fast. To that end when I got to the first feed station I gorged myself on cake, sweets, sandwiches and flapjack. I also drank like a camel who’d been too long in the arid desert when I came across a couple of the rivers we had to ford. It was just all wrong.
Hand on heart I can definitely say that the fatigue indirectly contributed to the calf trouble. I was just trying to push too hard, my form was all over the place and I struggled over the rough terrain.
I can also say that the calf then became the excuse to stop. And at the time, the logic for me became pulling out with a calf injury seemed better than pulling out because I’d gone out too fast.
I’ve done long, technical races before and prided myself at ignoring what was happening with other competitors around me and just got on with my own race. Reflecting on the Ben Nevis Ultra, I guienly don’t know what happened, maybe I thought I could maintain that pace, maybe my ego got in the way.
What I do know is that you live and learn. I just hope I can take the harsh lessons from this race and apply them to the next ones I have coming up. Don't get pulled along too fast at the start of a race and make sure you fuel appropriately throughout.